Delta “please knock me out” upsell

I had a 6-hour flight yesterday. I’ll have a red eye on Thursday and another flight on Sunday. Traveling is fun once you arrive at your destination, but the journey, contrary to popular belief, isn’t the most thrilling part of the process.

As I looked at the 8 million upsells airlines offer, I started thinking about the fact that I try to sleep on planes. What if there was an upsell to have one of the flight crew “knock you out” for your flight? Typically, this could be facilitated with an over-the-counter sleep aid or a nice neck pillow, but we could ramp things up and make it a bit more intense.

I’m imagining flight attendants offering you coffee, water, Biscoff cookies, or knocking you out cold with a baseball bat or a quick punch in the face. There are a lot of legal ramifications here (and logistical ones, will they be able to get the full range of motion with a bat?) that introduce so much complexity there’s no way this ever sees the light of day.

That said, on long flights I’d love to have a feature like this.

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